When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with an individual and to assume the powers of the presidency, the limited yet important station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of all Americans requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.
That whenever any Administration becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to elect new Government, laying its foundation on Constitutional principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to lessen their Public Debt and Regulation. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Incumbents one-term established rarely are deposed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these States; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to remove their former Commander in Chief. The history of the present President of the United States is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused to govern within the confines of the powers granted to him under the Constitution of the United States.
He has misused the Executive Privilege to withhold information from the American people regarding Operation Fast and Furious.
He has forgone the War Powers Act to commit United States troops without the consent of the Senate.
He has been weak against outspoken adversaries of America.
He has piled mountains of debt upon the people; borrowing against the productivity of future generations to pay for today’s frivolous policies.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For the largest tax increase in history via Obamacare.
For the appointment of federal judges who abuse the Judiciary’s powers.
For facetious efforts to promote bipartisan cooperation.
For concealing aspects of his personal identity from the American people.
For playing the various American races and faiths against one another.
He has forbidden our Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Justice Department should bring litigation; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has ignored our Representative House repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has endeavoured to illegally increase the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to discourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of Protection of our Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by giving his Blessing to A Corrupt and Racist chief of the Department of Justice.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has affected to render the Military impotent and inferior to Foreign powers.
For putting a tax cheat in charge of our Treasury.
For intentionally and without end devaluing our currency.
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring we Americans who disagree with him out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has refused to allow us to drill our seas, mine our Lands, burn our coal, and destroyed the livelihoods of our people.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Hippie Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is the undistinguished fornication with all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A President whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Liberal brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the principles of our philosophy and lifestyle here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow their usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and Country. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of common sense. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the Cornell Review, in Goldwin Smith Hall, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Conservatives of this University, solemnly publish and declare, That these United States are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Subordination to Barack Obama, and that all political connection between them and the Obama Administration, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to elect Romney, keep the House, win the Senate, repeal Obamacare, and to do all other Acts and Things which Republican Administrations may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
Signed: Lucas Policastro, Misha Checkovich, Noah Kantro, Andre Gardiner, Kushagra Aniket, Alfonse Muglia, Michael Navarro, Lucia Rafanelli